This has been a post that I wanted to write for a while, something that is very close to my heart since having Harriet. Before you have children you think that having a baby won't change anything but it changes everything.
Whatever I do, I am always aware that I am responsible for someone else, that every decision I make can affect them. So what do you do after having a baby? Do you go back to work full time? Part time? Self employed? Do you work around them, use childcare or do you decide to become a full time parent? Whatever decision you make, someone will always have an opinion.
Before having Harriet I ran a successful ladies boutique but I knew even when pregnant that I didn't want to be going to work every day. I couldn't bare the thought of missing out on one nugget of anything she did. When she first smiled, took her first steps, her first word, I wanted to soak up every minute of it. Like everyone always tells you, they aren't little for long.
For the first year we did everything from baby massage to music and singing groups to swimming. Every day was filled with learning, laughter and fun. But all my new mum friends I made slowly started to drift away back to work. Of course we always kept in contact but I didn't see them on such a regular basis. When Harriet turned one, I started to feel like I was missing a part of me. I am aware that I am currently in a very fortunate position and I can be with Harriet full time but I feel I am not contributing anything to the household and I'm slowly losing my identity.
But what can I do? Having left the office grind a few years ago to venture into the self employed world and now for nearly 20 months being mum, I feel like I don't have the confidence to walk back into a management or supervisory role. Would anyone take me seriously? Have things changed too much? Do I even remember how to do a formula in Excel?
My passions always have and always will lie within fashion and horses. Sadly I have zero time for the latter at the moment. My own horses are on loan and there is no way I could dedicate long hours to a horsey job right now. So do I venture into the fast paced life of fashion? I have always had a love for styling and I enjoy helping people feel confident in what they wear. I am thinking of a move towards personal styling and image consultancy. I have been researching this for quite a while. I can chose my hours and days, I can balance both work and spending time with Harriet all whilst indulging in my favourite pastime.... shopping!
So as I start to research my options and look ahead to the future, I am starting to realise that whatever you choose to do, there will always be positives and negatives. I am so excited to dip my toe back into the working world. The most important thing, whatever you choose to do, is valuing every precious second spent with your children and knowing they value it too.
xx
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